As I stated in a previous blog of mine,
Theres this guy.
He stole my heart from the moment I first layed eyes on him.
I can't imagine a world without him.
There's this job I'm trying to get.
Taking care of an infant.
Basically a Nanny.
In The long run I plan to do one of two things:
Be a Nanny
Like Fran Drescher,
or,
Be a Pre-school Teacher.
I'll only at the most be paid $225 a week.
My boyfriend,
who I have every intention of marrying,
Is absolutely convinced I'm pregnant.
and theres always a chance that I could be.
The problem is,
He's homeless the majority of the time.
Every now and again his Grandma, or Mom,
takes him in.
And he does stay a few nights.
But then he's back out on the streets.
We have plans and picked out furniture,
picture frames, wall colors,
curtains, shades, and the perfect house.
This house is amazing.
Four bedrooms:
1 for me and Jason, obviously,
1 for a nursery,
a play room, to keep things orginized,
and
a guest bedroom.
Since this house is a ways away
from where all our friends live and our families,
we want them to know they can stay as long
as they feel comfortable.
I always wanted a real house,
not a trailer, or an apartment.
It might be for some people just not for me.
I dont like having my dog jump off the bed,
and thinking a picture is going to fall off the wall.
My dog needs a fenced in yard.
she needs to run and play and dig holes.
she cant do that in an apartment,
and she can get under the trailer,
and chew through things that could seriously hurt her.
Heres the house:
The only problem is, even though this house
is PERFECT for us, and would accommodate
our every need.
Its just too expencive.
Jason,
Wants to go into the National Guard
He wants to support me and whoever else might come along.
And to do that, he needs his GED.
Bless his heart for wanting to do and be so much for me.
The thing is,
Even though I love him more than anything.
I have a feeling that I'm going to have to settle.
I dont want to because that jsut means that I'm giving up.
If there was anyway that we could just get help.
then we'd be perfect and happy.
We just happen to be two people,
in bad places,
sinking in holes, that we cant dig our way out of.
Im not looking to be famous.
Or get my name out there.
Or even make history.
I just want a house, car, and a job.
a house to build my family in, to live the rest of my life,
to grow old and sit on the porch in a rocking chair.
a car to get my kids to school, and go grocery shopping.
and a job to take care of my family, and my dog.
Jason and I don't even have the money to get married.
I know what youre thinking,
"Why dont you just elope?"
How will we get there?
we would've.
I love him
And I want to call him my husband.
I dont care how.
Id like to do it in front of family and friends,
in a bar called coconuts in Cedar Key, FL
since that place means alot to us.
But if we cant afford it theres no way it will happen.
I even picked out the dress that I want to wear.
Davidsbriadal.com
This is the biggest picture I could get. but its Gorgeous.
People ave dreams all there life.
All my dream is to marry Jason one day,
Get the house in Keystone,
and have a family with him.
I know deep down that no matter what happens,
or how hard life might get,
we can make it though.
And still the only problem with the whole plan:
We have no money.
Loving him, doesnt pay for our wedding.
Him loving me doesnt pay for our house.
Loving eachother Doesnt pay for
a child,
formula,
diapers,
a car-seat,
stroller,
crib.
cloths,
bottles,
nothings.
And that's just about all we have, sadly.
